Is my wife planning to leave me when she gets a permanent residence permit?



Posted by Badnews 7 yrs ago
My wife has been in Norway for a little over a year. She doesn’t speak English so we use the Google translator (for what it’s worth.) She received a telephone from Martha, a Chinese teacher and nurse who has been in Norway since 1972. We visit Martha 2-3 times a month. My wife and I have had some problems in our relationship, partly due to the language barrier. We often use Martha as an interpreter and Martha has given us advice on some marital problems! In fact Martha persuaded my wife to cancel an appointment I had made with the Family counseling office with an interpreter and use her instead! Martha said that the Family counseling office could not be trusted to keep matters confidential!

I don’t speak much Chinese but I heard the name of a nearby amusement park several times. The phone was given to me. Martha says she has some tickets to the amusement park. The plan is that my wife and some other Chinese persons shall accompany her to the amusement park on Sunday 19:08.12. She did not plan that I should come along. No point that I accompany if I do not do anything there (go on rides). Moreover, they will go around and speak Chinese. Martha asks if this is ok. I said its ok I don’t mind. (Well, what else could i say?) I give the phone back to my wife. The conversation ends in a good tone with an agreement to go to the amusement park next Sunday.

I wrote the following in the Google translator: I do not think Martha likes that I always accompany you. One time Martha suggested to me that you should take the bus and train to her home instead of me driving you there and accompanying you. She said taking the bus would help you learn Norwegian!

My wife became immediately enraged and began to write down on a paper what was on the Google translator. I asked her what she was doing. She refused to answer. I wrote that she must have totally misunderstood. She goes over to the telephone with the transcript and shall call Martha. I wrote that she should reconsider. She puts down the phone and crosses out the transcript. I wrote the following:

"I have absolutely nothing against you participating! I have no plans for Sunday.

I think it would be good for you to go. I think it is ok for you to be together with other people without me present.

If you decide not to go I do not want to hear in the future that I refused you! I do not want to hear in the future that it was my fault you did not go. I am not a bad person."

My wife then said she will not go because of the sun. (She does not like too much sun) I say she can take an umbrella and that I think she should go.

The next morning we went to her doctor to remove the blood pressure meter she has had for 24 hours. I asked her to pay the 200 kroner doctor bill.

The reason I asked her to pay is this. She asked me to drive to her doctor to obtain certification in English that she has diabetes Type 2. She believes this will help her pension issue with employers – Peoples Bank of China. The certificate cost me 250 and 2 trips to her doctor. I do not believe this document will have any impact whatsoever on her pension issue. Consequently it is a waste of (MY) time and money. Also, bickering about her desire to buy a mobile telephone for 6000 +, desire to spend money (15000) to bring her son to Norway for less than 2 weeks. She has worked in a kindergarten and received money. I pay for nearly everything. She has over 40.000 kroner in her account and can afford 200 for her own doctor