Lying and cheating

How come married western men fall for Asian women?


Caught my husband meeting with asian women behind my back, he was saying he had not cheated on me and I thought he ended it. We made good and I got pregnant. Then he said I must choose between keeping him or the baby. That he wanted a different lifestyle, not babies. To the fact is that this was our 4th child during 20 years of marriage and he was the one in charge of contraception! He hardly can say he didn't know better, so I feel it was just an excuse. If he could make me choose, he knew it would to be; me keeping the baby. And he could excuse himself that is was my choice. (There really was no choice, since he known for 20 years I would never, ewer have an abortion and since he wanted to leave me for the reason I was pregnant, I reasoned that if I had an abortion on his demand, maybe next time he would find another excuse to leave me.)

He is not admitting to have an other woman in his life. But to my experience a man in his late 40's don't divorce if he is not having an affair.


So it ended with that he left me 5 months into my pregnancy and with warm hand let me keep all the children in my care. I also was forced to move out of our house 7 month pregnant since we could not pay the double rent.


This happened to more than one of my friends, they move to Asia and suddenly their men change......

Back home they were caring husbands and fathers, sharing housework and childcare. Here they see a different lifestyle where women dote on men. For these women a western man symbolizes a ticket to a better life, he doesn't even need to be rich. I can see those women advertising here too...... "Local lady, trendy, elegant, fun, sensible, looking for a mature sincere caring professional guy" "Humorous, smart, sophisticated, romantic sexy lady 30+, chinese, searching for intelligent, easy-going man" "I am a single beautiful native HK woman and I prefer to meet single & handsome Swiss, German or Americans caucasian gentlemen " page up and page down..... Please don't call me racist, I have many down to earth professional Asian and HK native friends, who would never even consider stealing someones husband. But there are enough of desperate women out there who would not blink an eye to snare them self a western guy, married or not.

And if you think our marriage was in bad shape, think again... We had a balanced marriage, both working professionals, good sexlife, no arguments about money, traveled around as a family and took time to go out together without kids too. And if you think it was me letting myself go after having kids, you are wrong again. I have always taken pride in taking care of myself, dressing smartly and keeping in shape by running, swimming, yoga and even trained with a personal trainer. People are always surprised when I tell my age, they think I am years younger than my actual age and they are even more surprised when I say I have 4 kids. (After baby No. 4 I was back in pre-pregnancy weight after 6 weeks.)

It just seems that some men are blind to the blessings they have and get lured into thinking they deserve "better" and seek some kind of ego boost. I heard people warn me when we moved here, but could never believe it would happen to me.


Since I am not considering to take him back or hoping for him to return, I just wonder if you had similar experiences and you like to share your story.


I feel there won't be many options out there for a 40+ divorced mommy of 4.

I am so sorry to hear about your situation.


Likewise, I was warned about this when I moved here 10 years ago and I was very cautious and even warned my then husband at the time re: local Asian women and there hidden motives especially he travels back and forth between HK & China. He thought I was jealousy and over the top at times.


You see, I am an Asian myself (westernised, brought up and educated in NorthAmerica) and my husband is western. Although we didnt have any children, our marriage fell a part after 8 years.


It was his idea and wanted a separation (which was a complete shocked to me !!)...and yes, he denied at the time that he was seeing someone on the side. He is now married to her and have a child together (she got pregnant while we were separated), and yes she is Asian.


To make the long story short. We ended up divorced...it was very hard for me to cope even though we didnt have any children. It took me over 2 years to get over it. I went someelse to live for awhile and to be on my own. And now I am happily re-married at 40+....and am at peace with myself. My present husband and I have since relocated to HK and yes, he is western.


Do I worry based on my past experience ?? I would be lying if I say no, but my relationship with my now husband is very different then that of my previous marriage. This is due to the fact that he is a different person and we get on far better, have more in common and we love each other to bits...and we both had gone though alot in our previous relationships so I am content and confident that our marriage will be fine.


Regarding your situation, please do get a lawyer involved asap to protect yourself and your children.

Frilady..I feel very sorry for you..but the way you describe yourself you must be really a good catch!!! :) go out there and Mr Right will come..You havent done anything wrong he is the fool to let you go..he will regret it!! You are perfect and he doesnt deserve you and never did!! You have 4 great kids..a lot to be proud of a rich woman :O))

I am sorry to hear it.but you know westner men is better than asian men.i saw many asian men as soon as geting rich,they have many gfs outside.so,its a globle problem.i hope you calm down.you can think about divorce but not speak it out so easily.you can try persuade him back to your own contry.or pretend you also in a relationship with another man to see his feedback.if he dont care you,then you might consider divorce.if he get nervouse just have a talk with him and to see whats problem between you .

Hi Frilady,


I am sorry to hear about that..I am single mom (40) with two children (17 and 12) and many of my friends are single too. We decided that HK can easily corrupt man. First, there are single women either Chinese or Western women who would like to have western boy friend or husband, then you have tons of foreign domestic helpers who are sexually frustrated as well....Got the picture? I have been single for 5 years and never been in a serious relationship because most of the man that I attracted too, are not into committed relationship. Therefore, I decided just to enjoy life, be happy with myself but mantain positive outlook that one day I will meet this amazing man..^_^. As for your situation, I think you made the right decision. Please get a lawyer (if you have not settled all the things with your ex), and if you need a pair of hand or a friend, let me know! All the best!