Handling teenage

I have a boy who is in his 17 going to appear school final next month. Till 2010 he was a rankholder in his class and later he got distracted. After investigation i found he doesnot have any bad habits but having a girlfriend in his same class who is 2yrs older than him (repeater).

Now he cannot concentrate. I tried to talk to the girl she refused to talk. i tried to talk to her parents also they refused. When ever i start talking about studies and giving lecture about his career he is showing too much anger, shouting blaa blaa blaa.

Now everyday we endup with fighting. totally we lost peace at home. Any similar situation?

His daily shedule will make me more anger watching tv and chating with her whole night and waking up late going to school fast and chating with her in class and come home and chating with her. When and where he will study?

I donot know how to handle him . Finally he came to the conclution that parents are annoying. How to do?

Let him be. If he fails his subjects, tell him his allowance will be lessened, his phone confiscated, his games confiscated, etc. If he has high marks however, there will be gifts and etc.


Not all kids are the same, so this kind of tough love approach has to be communicated very well. The principle is: good performance is rewarded and the opposite is punished.


Side effect: be forewarned though that in the extreme, some kids have taken their own lives when their phone (life!) was taken away. How sad.

His marks are getting lower than the rank holder level but not yet fail level. But since he is going to appear his final exam next month i am forcing him much which he doesnot like. I am telling him to keep some time frame to do everything which he couldnot do and doesnot want to do. He knows what time i will be back home and he is getting ready to face me with paper and pen sitting and acting as if he is studying.

When i tell him to give me his phone atleast in the night time also he refuses. He is using some apps to communicate which he thinks i donot know but i know it will go on till two or three in the morning. I am telling him to stop roaming and sending msgs only till exam finishes. He says i am the only person making his relationship as a big issue but no body else is doing.

Can you compromise with him?


From now until next month, he has to stay home to study. At 11pm-midnight everyday, he is free to chat with her over the phone or meet up with her because you understand what it's like to be in love. You can negotiate with him what's acceptable to both of you.


When his exams are over, he is free to make plans with her after school because you respect that he has feelings for her (you can decide a negotiable plan with him what he wants to do and what you will allow him).


Tell him he cannot afford to repeat schooling if he wants to provide for his "girlfriend" in future. Otherwise she'll move on to someone else who is more capable and she won't wait for him.


Good luck.