i'm in a situation i never thought i'll find myself ,i am in a relationship with the most amazing man but he is married,i can not talk to any of my friends about it,
is anyone in the same situation and looking for a friend ?
lonly
Please support our advertisers:
Don't do it. I am in a similar situation but I am the married man. I was unhappy in my marriage and started an affair a few months with an amazing unmarried woman. But being torn between my obligations as a husband and my feelings for another woman is nothing but 1) mental torture for me, 2) daily unhappiness for my girl friend who wants more of me, and 3) horrible unfairness to my wife who remains clueless (at least for now).
I've realized that if I have issues with my marriage, I have to deal with that first -- either patch things up and keep moving, or get a divorce.
Being the mistress responsible for the end of a marriage would not put you in a good light for long to your "amazing man". You would always represent something sordid and sad to him. Don't do it.
Please support our advertisers:
I was in a relationship with a married man. It was hard to leave him but I knew I had to do it. You knew you could have him on Christmas Eve .. Christmas, New Year Eve and New Year... Don't even think he would be able to spend time with you on Valentine's day. This kind of relationship will kill you and make you crazy. Don't hurt yourself ... you should love youself......
Please support our advertisers:
hanxu
13 yrs ago
i m in the same situation as the host..
Please support our advertisers:
oh puhleezz...
how can you possibly love a man who has no integrity??
I have so many friends and relatives whose husbands have strayed. You can't imagine the hurt they've caused to their wives and children. Would you like it if your husband did this to you?
My advise to you and your 'great man' is to stop being selfish and start respecting people's marriage.
Good luck
Please support our advertisers:
FKKC
13 yrs ago
How can he be amazing (in the right sense) if he's a cheater? Unless he really loves you and comes clean and leaves his wife, then maybe you do have the real thing which is very rare. Usually husbands never want to give up their marriages even if they are not happy, not to say most are just fooling around for dangerous fun and excitment. They are little boys at heart, always wanting new toys. Don't be the one to hurt the wife because one day you will also be a 'wife'.
Please support our advertisers:
for the last two reply- you can keep your opinions and judgment to yourself ,i was asking to talk to people who are in the same situation and not to people who are eager to pass judgment from their ever so mighty moral high chair.
Please support our advertisers:
I'm in the same situation as hill hiker. If at all possible, don't do it. It is a no-win situation. If it weren't for the sex drive, I certainly wouldn't be doing this.
Please support our advertisers:
yeah ... those married men will do everything for sex, esp with the new toys. May more and more gullible women available to fulfill the fantasy of us, amazing men ... (ROFL) we're born to conquer the world and women ... ha ha ha!!!
Please support our advertisers:
loyd- so you feel nothing but sexual attraction to your lady? there is no bond ?
Please support our advertisers:
If i'm not mistaken 'seeking help' was loking for a friend with the same situation as her. True that it's hard to make an easy decision regarding her situation, esp when she's in love, as what she mentioned 'Amazing' refer to the Man'. well, as long as you can bare all the hardships, heartaches, and everything...go on. and let your expirience caution you in the process.
Please support our advertisers:
its ok , i should have known better...
i take no offense .my feeling for him are solid and i am not a fool i know where i stand, all i wanted was someone who is the same situation .
but i guess every relationship is different and every person is unique .
that why i don't pass judgment
and just for the record he is amazing !!!!!
Please support our advertisers:
KAT8
13 yrs ago
Would you think he was amazing if you were the wife and he was sleeping around?
Please support our advertisers:
With over a billion people around the world, can't you find one amazing guy for you who is not married?
Please support our advertisers:
with all the threads cant u find one where someone really care about your opinion ?!!
i asked to speak with other people who are in the same situation .not for your opinion
Please support our advertisers:
By asking people's opinion who are in the same sitauation as you, you are basically asking for reassurance from them that what you are doing is okay...IT IS NOT OKAY! You are a selfish, narcissistic homewrecker. Gezz, please wake up!
Please support our advertisers:
with all the threads cant u find one where someone really care about your opinion ?!!
i asked to speak with other people who are in the same situation .not for your opinion
Please support our advertisers:
I was part of a situation like yours.! I belonged to a family where a bitch thought my father was such an amazing guy that she poisoned his mind into leaving us and pushing my mother to depression and suicide. Now, I hope that all these will not happen to the family you are trying to destroy. I am just really amazed on how people are so calloused and self-centered that all they can think of is the sensation of a dick thrusting inside them without thinking of the dire consequences of their actions!
Please support our advertisers:
Don't do it ................ U reap what u sow in this life
And it will come back to haunt u
Please support our advertisers:
bing2
13 yrs ago
seekinghelp, are you filipino/ indonesian and he is white? just asking.
Please support our advertisers:
no , we both r white and share same culture and upbringing
Please support our advertisers:
Please support our advertisers:
MJ1
13 yrs ago
men men men men manly men men men...
Please support our advertisers:
I used to be fairly judgemental about extra marital affairs but after a few years in Hong Kong, my views have changed. It's so common place here. Even the most solid of marriages are tested. Single guys are generally only after a bit of fun and potential for women looking for a relationships are a bit thin on the ground. Married men fill the void for a lot of women with the promise of leaving their wives. It's a fantasy. They rarely do.
Please support our advertisers:
Please support our advertisers:
we dont know his bkground... but first...i guess u need to REALLY find out if u are his true love... u dont want to go through this and then he goes behind ur back again (if he agrees on divorcing his wife) thats ground rule. if he has kids... rethink... not to think of the money side as he will have to pay for an amount of allimony for that party... but also rethink if he will ever reconnect with his wife... per se... if theres kid..lots of possibilities...
2. if he has no kids... u can hang around with him of cos...but sometimes u have to "suffer" from him not being able to be close to u on the street as someone he knew might saw him or his wife's friends...etc
3. some mentioned special occasion, that u have to be able to bear the thought of him being with his wife and u gotta understand that he cannot expose himself if he really want a nice discreet divorce... u dont know waht could happen if his wife knows and maybe contact u..etc...
4. try not to be upset when he cant be with u in special occasion... occasion is just another day... everything is so commercialize right now... when there's time for both of u together... thats what counts ... not some stupid occassion.. so u have to think like that
5. understand there will be judgemental ppl around...perhaps they have suffered from it... perhaps they just think its wrong... but there is no right or wrong between love... if u fall in love, u fall in love... i mean ur man no doubt if u think he's amazing then he should do sth abt ur relationship if he really love u... so if thats the case... i guess u can fight for it... i dont believe in "u can control ur heart and emotions and mind" if so... then if a relationship starts to fade... y cant those ppl control their love and not let them fade?
i understand that i wont want my husband to cheat and if i found out i wont be happy either... but i guess open communication is essential in every relationship... so i encourage u to always tell him how u feel and always have him to open up his thoughts and emotions to u...so that u know what's going on in his mind... and honestly...if he will not get a divorce...i guess u will need to move on despite how much u in love... becos our youth only has that much... u may wanna have kids with him...but u dont want ur kids to become bastards...
u may always msg me if u down or need someone to talk to... i can only give the point of view as a woman... what u need to do is to train urself not to be upset by say him stood u up on a date cos he has other obligation, he cannot be seen together with u hand in hand... u wont be able to meet his friend... if u need to continue with the relationship... u really need to trust him and make him be super honest with u abt his marital status... if he will leave the wife or u will always be the second one...
Please support our advertisers:
MJ1
13 yrs ago
Ofcourse it's amazing, you're his little toy on the side so he will be on his best behaviour. Guys are most content with a loving wife/family at home and a little female toy on the side, it's the best of both worlds. Just because a married man has a little action on the side doesn't mean his marriage is on the rocks, guys love no strings attached sex/female attention, plain and simple. Because of this, the majority of married men won't divorce their wives, there's no reason to, married men don't want to spend lots of time with their female toy as this will just decrease the pleasure factor, they just want that quickie, enough time to satisfy their sexual needs and for their ego to be stroked and then they happily go back to their warm loving home.
Please support our advertisers:
the real purpose of OP 'seeking help', she only wanna speak with married men who cheats!!! and with women who are successful homewreckers, those who are too itchy to break the lives of their happily married sisters ... those bitches who are so full of jealousy, insecurities, low self esteem, sadistic, who imperatively must learn to have their own life instead of destroying their sisters lives. one man only cant satisfy this kind of chicks bcoz what they need is just wild fantasies, feeling in control of other people's lives ... those kind of girls are plain sick and must be put in the cells of mental hospital!
Please support our advertisers:
songyu you dont seem to have anything better to do ,you can keep your stupid ideas to yourself
Please support our advertisers:
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GIRLFRIEND!!!
Please support our advertisers:
minnie_leung thank you you are kind and you dont judge
i do understand the other posts as i use to box things before too.
every situation is unique and all i was looking for is someone to talk to .
im not a fool i know where i stand and i'm not trying to break a family ,
i would not respect him if he just left without caring about his kids .
i dont feel i need to justified myself but just wanted it to be clear
thank you again minnie
Please support our advertisers:
My girlfriend was previously in a relationship with a married guy for 5 years, she was convinced he loved her but alas he wouldnt divorce his wife. She broke it off with him cos of this, it took 6 months for her to get rid of him cos he kept pestering her to see her and she told me the 5 years with him and being the 'other' woman was a waste of time and regrets ever getting involved with him.
i know everyone's situation is different and not sure how long you've been with him, but are you not tired of being the other woman? T
Please support our advertisers:
she cant talk to her fds cos they might be judgemental like most of you guys...and what if she told her fds and they cant keep a secret or that they dont wanna be fds with her anymore... as she mentioned before ... she wanted to share with someone who is not judgemental, u dont have to b supportive but if she needs any judgement, she can always go else where like her fds... or her family... y cant people be more open minded to try to listen and hear ppl out? havent it occur to some of u that u dont wanna tell certain ppl abt a secret? there is always a reason... i just dont think she needs anyone to pass comment on her specific topic if ur not giving any advices or contructive comment without negative feelings... if she is thrilled about the situation she would be going around and talk abt it... she just wanna share her little feeling...how is she wrong? we dont know her, we dont know the entire situation... once we said we should always listen to the men or women should never go to school... and for those who said they should go out of their way to make their dream come true... someone will stop them and say negative things... just put urself in her shoes... hear her out with open mind... if u dont like it, go back to the main page and look for other forum to comment, if u wanna give constructive... doesnt mean encouraging comment, u can leave her a word... im not her spoke person but i felt like a girl being so lonely in such situation and need to be put down by u guys... seriously...
Please support our advertisers:
MJ1
13 yrs ago
Minnie, what if it was your hubby seekinghelp was banging? I wonder if you would be so openminded and supportive and ignorant to the main issue at hand. I highly doubt it.
Please support our advertisers:
I go with Minnie's suggestion, let's not be to judgemental with other because where not in their shoe. and we are not perfect. SH is needing an advice not to condemn. but to enlighten her with not in a drastic way. If anybody here who is whiter than pure silk, may support Songyu and MJI advice.
Please support our advertisers:
emo257, OP is not seeing advice, she is seeking other mistresses' validation.
please read carefully
i think she wants to start a group : the home wreckers' club.
Please support our advertisers:
I read it CLEARLY bing2, but if u dont understand and read my post, i'll made it clear. SH is needing an ADVICE' to enlighten her. positive suggestion, not condemnation. i'll tell u, if your son is asking for a bread to eat, you will give him, a poisonous snake? be intelligent.
Please support our advertisers:
MJ1
13 yrs ago
emo257 I don't think you really understand what you are on about, we are just trying to put things into perspective for seekinghelp...you don't enlighten someone by pretending everything is ok when it's not.
All we are doing is being a brutally honest friend...the type of friend you're being will only result in greater collateral damage.
Please support our advertisers:
MJ1, i understand what u were saying...but to be honest, everyone's situation is different and we really shouldnt judge...and how would u know i havent been in those kinda situation before? everyone will take things differently... my ex used to cheat without me knowing and he was lying on my bed telling me that he was going to marry another lady the next day... i bet u would go crazy and slap the man... but guess what i did... i asked him every detail...i didnt go crazy... all i wanted was just an open communication...
more importantly...she really doesnt need anyone to judge...not us anyways...we're not her fd...so dont sit on the high chair and judge her... was i happy that my ex cheated on me? no, was i happy that he was still lying on my bed and telling me that he will get married the next day? no and did i think he was joking? yes! does it hurt? yes!! but if i knew he was cheating then i would open up and talk... i never once blamed the guy ...
same as marriage... if theres a party cheating, then there must be sth wrong in the marriage... if the marriage is perfect, both parties are happy ... and both parties are honest abt their feelings, then no cheating would ever happen... and if someone can "steal" someone else husband, dont blame them! cos if their husband dont go out and find girls or not interested...no one can force themself onto the guys... guys wanna sleep around... perhaps they needed to prove that they are still charming... or just want some fun...i dont know... either way would be pathetic as if the marriage is solid, then the couple would do all the fun together... me and my bf would talk abt everything and if he ever wanna try sth new or sounds crazy to other ppl... i still think i should go with it... unless i have to risk my life for it...
anyways... m just saying... dont always say other women are home wrecker..if no men/ women are willing to cheat on their marriage, then no one can force themselves onto anyone...
pls dont call her names or say things like sending her to mental hospital... those mean things should stay in school...not in adult life!!
we dont know her situation, we just know one side of the story... so pls... just let her express wahtever she need to on this forum, if u get upset... leave the forum... dont call her names when we dont know the situation...
last thing... there's nth wrong to persue true love... if the man is going out there to look for other woman... the wives might not be his true love...becos if they truly care and love abt someone (if their love hasnt fade) then he wouldnt cheat... how many ppl get divorce these days and found second love and spend the rest of their lives till end of their lives?
so m just saying...we should all be open minded... dont judge her... and if ur upset, leave without calling ppl name like a kid at school... for those who have kids... god know if ur son would be one of the men out there... for those who has daughter... u dont know if she would be ur so called "home wrecker" one day... so pls... if u upset, keep ur mouth shut then leave... let her express her feelings and thought to open minded ppl that will provide constructive suggestion... doesnt mean that we will encourage her...but sometimes things need to be talked through and make them understand where they stand... they can make their own choice... its their life and last thing they need is someone to put them down.... dont push ppl out of the building if they were trying to suicide... analyze things to them... dont kill them... if u know what i mean...
Please support our advertisers:
minnie
its ok
first of all i'm not here to justified my action or saying they are good ,
im not promoting infidelity nor looking for sympathy on this thread, i just asked to talk to other women in pm.
trust me if i wanted him to leave he would have, but its not the right time because of the kids and they are a part of him so i care about them and not acting selfishly .his wife want a divorce too so im not breaking anything AND I KNOW THAT BECAUSE IV SPOKEN TO HER!!!.
but then again its between him and me not you people .
if anyone want to advise its done in pm all the "advises" here but few are statement made for the sake of the writer to bost their own self important .so you fooling no one with your "tough love" mj1 and keep it to yourself .
anyway to be honest i dont care , i have a wonderful man who loves me and that all i care
Please support our advertisers:
FKKC
13 yrs ago
'trust me if i wanted him to leave he would have'...aren't you a bit naive to really think that.....please don't flatter yourself and don't be so stupid!
Please support our advertisers:
u're such a great person Minnie' and broad minded mind. i wish a lot of not well mannered ppol will learn from ur advice. more blessings, good luck and god bless
Please support our advertisers:
< Back to main category
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail