why does most chinese employer have a “princess syndrome”

one of my friend girl.employer has two son,,one of his kid just sneeze and automatically she grab a syrup.medicine and give it to his child,,my friend said her employer is bit paranoid on taking care of her kids,thats why she cant move by her own on how to take care of her employers kids,,,and she notice that sometimes if kids get fever her employer take them to bath for 3-4times a day and one time she let open the refrigerator and let her son stand in front of fridge,,,how stupid isnt?i know how a.mothers feel when his kid got sick,,but then they are really different on how they take care of thier child..especially to those young.mom...and even instead of teaching thier kids how to be independent they would rather spoild it...

and i notice if they hire a helper who’s ego is much more higher than them in short will have more knowledge than them,,they find way how to under estimated thier helper,,,cuz all in thier mind they can owe a person by thier money,,,obviously people here are more on.money matters.And one thing i notice what the hell if one mom who has no work and just stay at home with kids and helper some.of them hire a instructor for piano lesson,harp,guitar,,,its pretty obvious on how they waste thier money for that...And the prob is they can treat other people well but not thier helper who is in thier and give servise to thier family....

Margaret, I am a stay at home mother and although I can play the piano quite well, I do hire a piano teacher. It's because playing and teaching are 2 different things and there is a reason why people get qualified as a piano teacher.


While I understand your frustration, and I do agree that it must be more difficult for helpers to work in a "stay at home mother" house, may I just give you one sight from the other side?


Ego is not the problem. different houses have their own different family rules and manners, thus, sometimes, we will have to ask the helper to adjust to the house rules and not execute her profession based on her "own ideas." sometimes, if employers feel that their rules are overrun by the helper and she/he starts to perform as they want to, maybe we will HAVE to ask to change or show how it needs to be done. It is not underestimation.


I do agree that there are ladies that are being poorly treated and those cases are gradually coming out. And yes, those employers who abuse the helpers need to understand that they cannot do it. But,please do not mix those cases and employers merely asking the ladies how they need the home to be run.

margaretdoyle, I have seen you in many posts and you obviously have an issue with "Chinese people" and their "Princess Syndrome". I think it is ok to talk about overbearing employers but only without the racial labels. FYI overbearing bosses come in many colours.


"And the prob is they can treat other people well but not thier helper who is in thier and give servise to thier family...." My boss will take his friends and family out for expensive dinners. He will be able to talk and confide in them. However he doesn't do that with me, why? Because I am his employee. I work for him. He doesn't have to treat like his friend.


Of course you should be treated with respect, but remember respect goes both ways. I don't think you can say that you respect "Chinese" employers because you have the attitude that all Chinese employers have a princess syndrome. And I am sorry but that is not true.


Instead of seeing all Chinese mothers as demanding, maybe see it as they really care about their children and they want the best for their children, which is why why want to pay for piano, guitar, or harp lessons.


So my point is, instead of just being pure racist, maybe open your eyes and see things in a different perspective. Maybe you will be able to finally enjoy your job!


Good luck!

As a stay at home mother (with a PhD) I can say that the reason many women choose to stay at home is because we do not feel helpers are educated or brought-up with similar values, expectations, or beliefs. The time is precious. Why should someone who is paid to clean the house and take the dogs out tell me how to raise my son? Why is her voice relevant in any way to how I mother and care for my family? My helper is a cleaner, a cook, a dog-walker, and a grocery-shopper... NOT a nanny. A proper nanny has been trained, educated, and informed on early childhood development, medical needs, etc. I am betting you have not. Therefore, you should either take classes to better educate yourself, or refrain from passing judgement on a woman who sounds quite loving and devoted to her family.

Well said.


The time is precious to Parent. It is human nature.


A proper nanny has been trained, educated, and informed on early childhood development, medical needs.


Being required to attend such job doesn't mean the employee really have such qualification.


Prior and better equipped oneself is the working attitude in whatever career field.

My friend of mine is a BS Nursing and computer programming Graduate...she is also a licensed first aider and she is a mother of 2..choose to be helper as it twice of her salary compared of she work under his knowledge and course in philippines..She take care more than ten kids not include in her career working in hospital...As ive said no such feeling can explain on how a mother take of care in thier child.And i don't believed you hire a helper just to do house chores..

Added on that my advice specially now a days..Screw this out: it's very hot weather why put jacket on kids?for what?to maintained body temp?did you know that if tour sweating and dry up again on your skin without changing clothes or wipe can lead to pneumonia especially to kids.Turn on the aircon and wear jacket...how was that?.…

Margaret, questioning every single thing will not get you far, it will certainly not be good for your relationship with your employer. Whether you are a helper or a manager in a top notch global company, as long as you have someone above you, there will be times that you disagree, a lot! You need to pick your battles and learn to cope with the rest.


Please be reminded that different countries have different cultures. Each parent have their own parenting beliefs.


Hong Kong is humid thus aircons are blasting. A tiny child's body gets taken the temperature quite easily. Even for adults, working in a blasting aircon the full day( if you have lots of computers, you need low temperature to keep overheating at bay), I remember wearing a sweater home as I was popsiclised. Does this answer your question?

Or in some cases, children cannot wear short sleeves due to their medical / skin conditions

It is a matter of professionalism or whether that one has kind heart or thought when doing the thing.


Who does like dummy just humiliate the IQ by herself.

margaredoyle, the thing is, who are you to question what other mothers are doing? If the helper disagrees with her employer's ways, she has to be the one telling her employer and hopefully her employer is willing to listen and then decide which action is best. If a helper does not agree with the majority of her employer's ways, she can't be happy working there, so she must decide whether or not it's worth staying. Two years is a long, long time to deal daily with an employer you don't share common grounds with.


Telling her this is much, much more constructive than feeding her dissatisfaction and telling her that yes, her employer is stupid.


I would just offer her two options. The first is to resign because it's awful working like that with so much differences or the second option is that she needs to respect her employer's ways even if she herself would have done it differently, simply because it is her employer's house. Unfortunate, but true.


I had a helper who worked two contracts with me. Initially, it was tough. She had an opinion about how I wanted things done. There was one incident where I asked my 7 year old daughter to come downstairs to meet me in our block's lobby as I was waiting there already. We live in a low density apartment with very few units. We knew many of the residents there. Anyway, she allowed my 7 year old to go down to meet me and I called her to tell her I had picked up my 7 year old already. But when I got home that night, she surprised me by telling me how to her, doing such a thing was illegal because my daughter was only 7 and she could have called the police.

When she talked to me in that tone, I was mad and I said to her, "Okay, then please call the police". Both of us didn't talk the rest of the night.

The next day, after I calmed down I told her, "xxxx, I'm sorry about last night. I'm grateful that you care enough about my daughter's well being. It was a huge responsibility for you to let her go down like that because you weren't passing her to me. Let's discuss ways of what's acceptable and what's not". I also told her that during our time together, there'd be times when either of us will make silly mistakes but we are all learning and we just have to help each other. This is very true. I wouldn't appreciate another person attacking me and telling my helper how stupid I was. Thankfully no one did that. In fact, that was the only time I ever let my daughter go down on her own.

Good to hear that Gemma..and again im not questioning about what mother can do to her kids cuz if i do i will be a super idiot and world were against me about that ..lol.

So as it was happened to you..can u imagine how about those helper let say lots of them have no such confidence or ability to say and share to thier employer.Everyone have rights.And how about to those employer who did not just once but most of the time..I

Really felt sad to my friends situation she knows herself that family need her..By the way my friends is the only helper who stay long in that contract to her employer..previous was all break thier contract...and ur true if it doesnt solve by talk..and pride is in the midle should terminate the contract